


When You're Ready (I Surrender)

by yellow_sunrise



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 11:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16366742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellow_sunrise/pseuds/yellow_sunrise
Summary: I wrote this for @backtothestart02 as a gift for when I finished the 100 words for 100 days challenge. Only I finished that months ago and forgot. So here is my late gift!





	When You're Ready (I Surrender)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [backtothestart02](https://archiveofourown.org/users/backtothestart02/gifts).



**May 2000**

“It’s gonna be okay Barry,” Iris whispered as she ran her fingers through his hair and listening to his sharp sobs.

 

“He didn’t do it Iris. They can’t convict him!” Barry sobbed. They were both curled in Barry’s bed, while Iris leaned against the headboard and Barry lay half in her lap and half on her chest. It had been a rough day for Barry, as it was the start of his father’s trial. Barry wasn’t allowed to testify since he’d visited his father so much that the prosecution was claiming witness tampering. Iris hadn’t wanted to talk to her dad for the entire day because he had only told Barry that whatever happened, truth would find a way. Both kids could tell that Iris’ dad wholeheartedly believed Henry had done it. But Barry said he didn’t, so Iris believed him. And she’d met Henry. He was a nice man, genuinely kind. He couldn’t have. And he loved Nora so much.

 

“It’s gonna be okay Barry.” she soothed, but she didn’t really know how to comfort him. His mom was dead, and his dad was getting arrested for it, while everyone talked about how shameless his father was for lying to his son about `a man in lightning’.

 

The sound of Barry crying made Iris’ heart break and she slid down so that she was holding him. Iris was just a little taller than Barry so she found it easy to cradle him and she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

 

“You’re gonna be okay Barry. I’m here for you,” she whispered, as Barry drifted off into uneasy sleep. 

 

Iris’ hand started to cramp and her leg was falling asleep, but she didn’t move, fearing that if she let Barry go, his nightmares would seize him.

 

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” she told him, as he slept on.

 

**August 2007**

“I’m gonna miss you Barry,” Iris said, watching from the doorway as Barry packed his suitcases. Barry looked up, startled by her sudden appearance. He was already opening his mouth to make a joke about her missing him making her brownies but there was something about the look in her eye. Something almost forlorn and longing all at once.

 

“Iris I won’t give you the chance to miss me. I’ll call every day, we can skype on the weekends, you’ll barely notice I’m gone,” he assured her, standing up straight and walking over to her. She met him in the middle and wrapped her arms around him.

 

“It won’t be same as having my Bear right here. I mean, who am I gonna commiserate with about coursework with?” she asked, lifting her head to make eye contact. Barry smiled sadly at her, though his heart was pounding.

 

_ Tell her, tell her, just tell her now! _

 

“We can do that on the phone. The Iris West I know isn’t one to wallow.” he said, rubbing her back. She smiled weakly.

 

“Well I haven’t had a reason to for a long time. Just promise me you won’t be making any new best friends or dating anybody without my approval.” she joked.

 

“There’s no one who could replace you Iris.” he said simply. She beamed at him, burying her face in his chest and squeezing him tightly. Barry squeezed her right back, tucking her head under his chin.

 

They stood in comfortable silence before she pulled away, stealthily wiping her eyes.

 

“Come on, let’s get you packed. If you forget anything I can’t just drive up and get it to you. Do you have a checklist?” she asked, taking on a more playful demeanor but Barry could sense something not quite normal about her, but she seemed to want to ignore it for now.

 

“Coast City is pretty far. But at least there are beaches.” he said. Iris rolled her eyes.

 

“Don’t rub it in that you get to lounge on white beaches with clear waters between classes and I’m gonna be here in Central as always,” she whined, though she smiled afterwards, folding one of his shirts and placing it neatly in the suitcase.

 

“Hey, we both know I burn instead of tan. I won’t be lounging anywhere. But you’re the one who wanted to study criminal psychology,” he pointed out. Iris, despite never being as studious as Barry, she did  love to learn about her interests and people interested her. And since she had been blocked from being a cop by Joe, she was determined to fight crime  _ some _ kind of way. And Central City had a great program.

 

“Well, not if you put on sunscreen and don’t fall asleep in the sun you should be good. Besides, you’d look great with a tan,” she said appraisingly, looking at Barry for a moment before shaking her head. Barry tilted his head in confusion but shook it away. No, he’d been imagining it as always.

 

“Maybe. But I mean, I’m so excited! I’m this close to being a CSi and then after that, well. You know.” he said somewhat shyly. He knew that Iris said she believed him that someone else killed his mother, but talking about it was still somewhat nerve wracking. Like someday Iris would finally tell him to give it up.

 

“Then you can prove your dad didn’t do it. I know Barry. And you can get the expert opinion of Iris West to prove that he couldn’t have been capable of it,” she said, smiling gently. Barry’s heart warmed and he was reminded, like he was everyday how much he loved her. 

 

God, he was going to miss her.

  
  
  


The next day, everything went just the way it was supposed to. He woke up early to Iris and Joe making breakfast, though Iris had been delegated to making sure nothing was burned, something that she could do with reasonable focus. It was bittersweet. Another milestone of his life that his parents were missing, another celebration they’d be missing out on. The only thing that soothed the raw ache of his heart was Joe and especially Iris beaming at him proudly.

 

“Look at you Barry! You’re practically a man now, going off to college in Coast City no less.” Joe said, as if he himself couldn’t believe it.

 

“Yeah, but you guys know that I’ll be thinking of you the whole time, right?”

 

“I hope so! And don’t worry, as soon as I save up enough money I’ll come visit you.” Iris promised, looking both excited and earnest.

 

Iris was in much better spirits than she was yesterday but there was something there...a heaviness. Barry wouldn’t ask in front of Joe but maybe if they got a moment alone he could ask what was wrong.

 

The rest of the morning was spent with Barry double checking that he had everything and that his carry on had everything he’d need for the long flight. Joe was helping him load his things into the car when Iris conjured up a small picture frame. He half expected it to be a picture from their summer trip before college but his breath caught when he saw that it was actually a picture of his parents that he’d seen only a handful of times. It was from when they were younger, probably before they’d even thought of Barry. The quality of the picture was a clear indicator its age but it had been well taken care of.

 

Barry choked up when he saw it, his eyes darting to Iris’s.

 

“I know that you have so many pictures but I asked dad who knew your parents. And it took me ages to track anyone down. But one of your dad’s friends took this when he went on a double date with your parents. I just wanted you to have something nice to put on your college desk,” she said, her own voice sounding thick.

 

“Iris…”

 

“You don’t have to say anything Barry. I know,” she said shaking her head.

 

But she didn’t and now Barry was going to leave her, be miles away from her weeks on end. How was he going to do this without her?

 

“I just. Thank you so much,” he sighed, wrapping her in his arms and hugging her so ardently that he lifted her from the ground. She laughed and kissed his cheek, grinning as his cheeks heated.

 

“Anything for you Barry. Come on, let’s make sure you’ve got everything in here so you don’t leave anything,” she suggested. Barry, Joe, and Iris finished packing Barry’s things and in short order they were piled into the car, listening to an Iris approved driving playlist that she made herself.

 

Most of the songs were fun but there were a couple that were pretty sad, mostly about someone leaving. Barry was so tempted to turn around and ask if she was okay but she sang along as if it were normal to be listening to love songs about your lover leaving while your best friend was going far away to college. Barry was actually going a little crazy with the uncertainty but the closer he got to the airport the more his thoughts turned to his upcoming semester.

 

At the airport, Iris and Joe followed him through the terminal as long as they could, but eventually Barry was going to be on his own.

 

“You are going to do great this semester, son. Just remember that if you need to talk Iris and I are here, we’ll be here for you.”

 

“I know Joe, thank you so much.” Barry and Joe embraced tightly and Iris bounced excitedly for her turn to say her goodbyes.

 

Joe even stepped back to give them a moment. It embarrassed Barry for some reason but Iris didn’t even flinch.

 

“Well, this is it. Keep your promise okay? Don’t forget to call. And don’t forget to take care of yourself too. I know you love to learn new things but you can’t make good grades if you’re sleep deprived. Keep chasing the impossible too.” she fiddled with the hem of his pullover, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

 

“Iris you know I’ll call. I just hope before I leave you can tell me what’s wrong,” he said. She smiled at him in disbelief.

 

“It’s nothing serious Barry. Just thinking about possibilities. But I’m really going to come see you so I won’t miss you too  long. Love you, Barry.” she said, balancing on her toes to kiss his forehead.

 

Barry nodded and hugged Iris tightly.

 

“And whenever you’re ready Iris, I’ll be here.” he said quietly. She looked quizzically at him for a moment and Barry was sure that she knew. They stare at each for a moment but the alert on his watch went off. He didn’t have long until his plane was set to board. Barry walked away, sure that something had shifted.

  
  
  


Two months passed in a whirlwind for Barry. His first semester of college was more stressful than he’d anticipated but as Iris had promised, she called often, though sometimes when she called when she should have also been studying. But it was heaven to hear her voice when he was at his lowest and she had a way of just taking away the stress with just her voice.

 

“You know I’m starting to think you were playing with me when you said you’d be visiting.” he said.

 

“Really? And what makes you think that you won’t see me soon?” she asked coyly. Barry raised an eyebrow, though she couldn’t see him. 

 

“Oh yeah? How soon is soon? Soon like, you’re going to finish that essay soon? Or soon like you’ll admit to being wrong soon?” he teased. Iris huffed.

 

“Rude! And to think, I’m waiting in the lobby of your dorm, ready to drop a hell of a bomb on you.”

 

Barry froze, his eyes narrowing, glancing at his desk calendar to make sure he hadn’t mixed up the days.

 

“It’s Thursday afternoon. And you have class tomorrow. No way you’d be here this early.

 

“Except my one Friday class got cancelled and it’s a long weekend. So maybe I might hypothetically be here,” she shrugged. Barry stood up abruptly, and grabbed his room keys.

 

“Iris if you’re joking I may actually cry.” he told her, power walking to the elevator and pressing the button to go down with urgency.

 

“Just come get me Barry.” she laughed and Barry felt his heart trying to pound out of his chest and race to her.

 

When he stepped out of the lobby and turned the corner, there she was with full duffel bag, grinning so widely that Barry could practically see her molars. She let out an excited yell and she met him in the middle, practically jumping into his arms. It was probably melodramatic and obnoxious but Barry felt like he was home again, strangely.

 

Barry wasn’t even embarrassed to be in the middle of he lobby where the desk worker could see but Iris was  _ here _ .

 

“Hi Barry,” she laughed pulling away long enough to cup his cheek.

 

“Iris, hey. I can’t believe you did this,” he said laughing.

 

“Well opportunity knocked and I answered. Anyway, show me your room. I’m dying to see casa Barry,” she said, shrugging her bag over her shoulder. Barry reached for it and shouldered her burden, offering his arm. The two of them beamed as Barry lead the way.

 

“So my roommate is still in right now, but his girlfriend lives off campus so he might leave for the weekend.” Barry told her.

 

“His name is Hal, right?”

 

“Yeah. He’s kinda weird honestly, but I like him.” Barry shrugged.

 

“Well, glad you like your roommate,” she grumbled as they slid into the elevator.

 

“Yeah, how is Awful Angela?” he teased, using the nickname Iris had drunkenly texted him.

 

“God, stop. I can’t believe I said that. She’s loud and kinda inconsiderate, but at least she keeps her side neat.” Iris sighed. They reached Barry’s room in short order and she raised an eyebrow. “It’s neat.” she said plainly, surprised by the organization.

 

Barry laughed, imagining the confusing chaos of a room he had back home.

 

“Yeah, after like, a week of struggling to find my notes in the mess and losing focus I finally decided to just make the place navigable.” Barry admitted.

 

“Well I’m proud of you for seeing the light. You know you seem different, I don’t know, brighter I guess, since I last saw you,” she said, as he dropped her bag at the foot of his bed, and sitting down, kicking off his shoes. Iris took his cue and took her shoes off, neatly lining them up next to his boots.

 

“It’s because you’re here,” he said, but she shook her head, her ponytail swinging.

 

“No, no you’re doing really well up here. So, what’s fun around here?”

 

“Well there’s a roller skating rink. I know it’s no bowling alley, but skating is pretty popular around here,” he explained.

 

“Well, in that case we should go. But first I want a nap, I was up pretty late last night,” she yawned and Barry nodded.

 

“Sure you can sleep on my bed, I still have an essay to finish.” he admitted.

 

“Sorry to show up and sleep but I’m all yours once I’m up, I promise.” she said, taking off her jacket. He was a bit stunned to see that she was wearing an old, thin shirt that Barry left because it was too small. On Iris she wore it like it was made for her, though Barry found himself hot under the collar when he could just barely detect the color of her bra, which to his surprise, was orange.

 

“I’ll wake you up in about an hour,” he said as he curled on hugging a pillow to her chest and Barry got his decorative blanket and tossed it over her. Iris was sleeping in short order and the sounds of her light snoring brought Barry back to studying in the living room while she napped after cheerleading practice. He worked in silence for while and finished his essay before he told Iris he’d wake her up. So he got on his phone and snapped a picture of her graceless sleeping face, smiling at it. 

 

When it was time to wake her up, Barry did so gently, as Iris was slow to rise.

 

“Hey, Iris. Iris come on, it’s been an hour,” he said, shaking her awake. Iris turned away, burying her face into his pillow.

 

“No,” she groaned, reaching out to grab at Barry’s collar. “Come nap with me,” she pleaded, snuffling as Barry laughed.

 

“You’re the one who wanted to skate.” he pointed out.

 

“Past Iris was dumb. I need more sleep,” she groaned, rolling over a little to look at him from under her lashes. Barry’s heart began to pound in his chest at the image of her in his bed, looking at him like that.

 

“If you sleep too long you’ll be up all night,” he tried to reason. She snorted, but readjusted so she was looking at his ceiling.

 

“Not like we wouldn’t be up all night anyway.” she stretched languidly, her back arching before she finally sat up, yawning. “Okay, I’m up, I’m up. You ready to go?” she asked, standing up unsteadily, Barry’s hands steadying her.

 

“Don’t fall over.” he laughed and she rolled her eyes.

 

“I won’t! I’m a great skater,” she sniffed and Barry laughed as he watched her get her shoes on.

 

They took a bus to the roller skating rink and Iris marveled at how big and nice it was compared to the one they’d sometimes went to in Central.

 

The carpet was a garish bright pattern of neon orange, green, and purple. The lights were flashing a bit and the DJ was playing current hits loudly. She could smell the greasy food and Iris smiled.

 

“Oh yeah, this will work.”

 

Once they got their skates and got into the rink, Barry and Iris glided slowly together, though Iris was more unsteady on her feet.

 

“Careful,” he said, his nerves a bit tight as he watched her struggle.

 

“Relax Bear,” she laughed, though her laugh made her stumble and he was quick to reach for her, righting her stance.

 

“You were saying?”

 

“If I fall it won’t be the end of the world,” she said. “But I appreciate the concern.” she beamed and picked up her pace. They both fell a couple of times and Barry felt lighter than he had in ages with Iris by his side.

 

Eventually it was time for challenges like dancing and races, but Barry and Iris sat them out but cheered excitedly nonetheless. In any case, they were sharing what was essentially a tub of cheese fries and Iris wiped bit of mess from Barry’s mouth with her finger and Barry picked up his napkin.

 

“Sorry, haven’t eaten since before we left.” he explained. Iris grinned.

 

“I can tell. So tell me about your essay, what’s it about?” she asked and Barry barely swallowed his food before launching into an explanation. Iris was clearly doing her best to understand it all so Barry avoided tangents as much as he could.

 

“...and the damage of high speed impact on organic materials. We didn’t go over it for very long but it was really interesting. But yeah, that’s about it.”

 

“God, you’re such a nerd.”

 

“Yeah, but I’m your nerd.” he shot back and she rested her chin in her palm.

 

“Yeah, you really are. But you know, there’s something that I’ve been thinking about.”

 

“What is it?” Barry asked seriously, sensing the shift in Iris. She looked unsure and she shrugged.

 

“I don’t know. Things have always been the same between us and I just wonder if maybe we could try--” but at that moment a fight breaks out next to their table. Barry stands up to block Iris and they made distance but the fight escalated into physical blows and eventually the guys had to be pulled out. In the craziness, the moment was lost and Barry couldn’t help but feel robbed.

 

**Years Later**

 

“I wonder what our married doppelgangers are up to tonight,” Barry laughed, his smile nearly swallowing his face.

 

“Probably Earth-2’s equivalent of Netflix and chill.” she said, with a teasing smile. Barry chuckled and responded in kind.

 

“Sounds nice, I mean, for them,” he corrected, not wanting her to feel awkward or pressured. For a moment there was that tension again, but Barry knew better than to hope for anything. In a second she’d probably change the subject and they’d be where they always seemed to be, hovering over something special, something destined. But she wasn’t ready…

 

“Actually, Barry I wanted to ask you if you remember something,” she said abruptly, shaking him from his thoughts.

 

“Shoot,” he said and she sidled closer to him, turning so they were in their own personal bubble.

 

“When I visited you in Coast City during your first semester, I had something to say but we got interrupted,” she said quickly, licking her lips, like she did when she was nervous. Barry didn’t really remember what she meant, but he nodded.

 

“I guess but we talked about a lot that time.”

 

Iris nodded and looked up at Barry searchingly.

 

“Yeah, but not about what really mattered. God I just, even back then I was so oblivious. But when you left for college Barry I  _ really _ missed you.” she said, a small hand resting on his arm.

 

“I missed you too Iris,” he said, placing his hand over hers and gripping her hand.

 

“And when you were in the coma, I thought that I wouldn’t get through it. On the worst days I thought `if I could take his place I would. Or if I could just be i your head with you that’d better than seeing you like that’. And looking at things now,” she sighed and stepped even closer.

 

“Iris what’s wrong?”

 

“You could’ve stayed. At Earth-2. Over there that Iris knew how she felt and she wasn’t afraid to admit it to her Barry. They loved each other and you got  to live in that for a while. And I feel,” she paused closing her eyes and opening them again. “I feel like I’ve been wasting so much time. We could’ve been together so long ago and it feels like now I’m just waiting.”

 

Barry hardly dared to breathe. All of his dreams were seemingly coming true and it was apparently happening in a subpar club that he’d found on Yelp.

 

“Iris, what are you waiting on?”

 

“Barry you’ve been waiting on me for years and I’m afraid that I won’t be...worthy of that love or that the me that is, isn’t the one you really wanted.” Barry turned fully to her and cupped her face, the gesture startlingly similar to an erased day on the waterfront.

 

“Iris you know that I  _ know _ you and that’s why I love you. Honestly, I think I’d explode if I loved you anymore,” he told her. She stared at him, before she smiled.

 

“I love you too,” she said simply, like the words didn’t shift his whole world on its axis, like she wasn’t healing every self-deprecating thought about her being too good for him. 

 

“Then, if you love me too Iris, are you ready?” he asked, stroking her petal soft cheeks.

 

She nodded her smile widening.

 

“I am Barry. I want to love you and I want this between us, finally.” she said. Barry leaned down and kissed her.

 

Kissing Iris this time was so much  _ more _ than the first time. There was no immediate danger and he knew that he wouldn’t have to erase it. The pounding music faded away and all he could feel was his own heartbeat thrumming like hummingbird wings. She made a small noise in her throat and he pulled away to ask if she was okay but she shook her head, pulling him back in so closely that they shared their breaths.

 

“Please don’t stop kissing me,” she whispered, her voice breathless, though they’d only been kissing moments.

 

“Never,” he mumbled, his hand coming around her back and his other cradling her face.

 

Iris leaned in and snagged his bottom lip between hers, and he groaned pulling her flush against him and Barry wildly wished that maybe they could just meld together. Barry was starting to feel flushed when a drunk woman bumped into them, calling out a loud apology.

 

The spell was broken and they stared at each other.

 

“You wanna get out of here maybe and just talk?” she asked, smoothing the lapels on his jacket while he wiped away her smudged lipstick.

 

“Yeah,” he said. She offered her hand and Barry laced them together, his heart more full than it had ever been.


End file.
